I read Mari’s recent entry with interest as this question has plagued me for a few months as there is a good leader I know who I often make small talk with, has complimented me several times on my dancing, dances with lots of my friends but still hasn’t asked me to dance. I always made excuses, saying that the music wasn’t right or that we were just passing at the wrong place in the milonga (him going one way, me going another) but last month, there was finally a perfect opportunity where the music was good, the floor had space and we were standing chatting alone.
I remember thinking if there is ever a chance to ask me to dance it will be now. Nothing. After a few minutes of chat, he said he was going off to dance and went over to a friend of his and started dancing (mid song, so it wasn't even a pre-arranged song). It stung but in some way, it has finally brought closure. He is obviously never going to ask me to dance, so now I’ve just accepted it and know not to waste any more time hoping that he will. We still make small chat but that’s apparently where the boundaries are.
I’m being Miss Pragmatic (although it’s taken a while).
On no account however, would I ever ask him WHY he doesn’t want to dance with me? He obviously has his reasons and I have my pride! I'm just making sure now, that I always have plenty of partners when he's around.