Sunday, 22 February 2009

A brazen woman?

Yesterday I went to a small milonga close to where I live. It has a casual atmosphere and as there weren’t that many people, I managed to dance with pretty much all of the men during the warm-up class beforehand. When the dancing began in earnest, I was up straightaway and onto the dance floor – in fact I think in the whole night I only sat out three tangos and that was only because I was in the bathroom! My plan was that if no one asked me, then I should just go up to the nearest man and ask them. Now at the very end, one of the tangueras said to me, ‘You’ve been dancing non-stop all night. You don’t let any tangos pass you by, do you?!’ At the time I just smiled and said that I wasn’t letting any spare music go to waste when I could be practising but afterwards I wondered if it was a subtle dig for potentially hogging too many partners? Should I have deliberately sat some out?

Generally, women complain about it the other way, which makes me think that last night was an exception. So did I just luck out? Or create opportunities for myself? ­ and now am I the target of every tanguera’s evil eye?! Could I be coming across as too brazen – is it more ladylike to sit demurely at the side? Or were the men in this particular milonga just too polite/laidback to refuse me?

1 comment:

  1. Nice to see a new bloguera! :D Hello!

    My guess is that comment had something to do with you asking leaders repeatedly, especially if you don't know them well or it isn't common practice there. I know some guys who can't bring themselves to turn down a woman who asks them for a dance, even if they don't really want to dance with her. It's part of why I don't usually ask a leader directly, especially if I don't know him well and/or he just happens to be standing there (as opposed to asking him after having been talking to him for a while).

    But this is coming from someone who rarely sits during a milonga unless I want to (albeit in a leader-heavy community) ... so maybe they are saying the same thing about me behind my back! ;)