Yesterday I went to a small milonga close to where I live. It has a casual atmosphere and as there weren’t that many people, I managed to dance with pretty much all of the men during the warm-up class beforehand. When the dancing began in earnest, I was up straightaway and onto the dance floor – in fact I think in the whole night I only sat out three tangos and that was only because I was in the bathroom! My plan was that if no one asked me, then I should just go up to the nearest man and ask them. Now at the very end, one of the tangueras said to me, ‘You’ve been dancing non-stop all night. You don’t let any tangos pass you by, do you?!’ At the time I just smiled and said that I wasn’t letting any spare music go to waste when I could be practising but afterwards I wondered if it was a subtle dig for potentially hogging too many partners? Should I have deliberately sat some out?
Generally, women complain about it the other way, which makes me think that last night was an exception. So did I just luck out? Or create opportunities for myself? and now am I the target of every tanguera’s evil eye?! Could I be coming across as too brazen – is it more ladylike to sit demurely at the side? Or were the men in this particular milonga just too polite/laidback to refuse me?
On social maleness
11 hours ago